The Story: “A Match Made in Wal-Mart”

Posted On October 17, 2006

Maybe I Should Start at the Beginning…

(Are you ready? This is a pretty long story, even for me.)  Back in January, when I first saw Anna
at Wal-Mart, I was struck immediately by her countenance. (Also by
her modest, yet attractive, clothing.) Of course, her physical beauty
stood out to me also, but what really got my attention was her
countenance, and her eyes. There was a light in her eyes, a maturity
about her face, that I do not see very often even among Christian
people. I sometimes call it the Mark of Maturity. Lots of girls are
pretty, but they don’t all have that mark. It was clear, almost from
the first look, that she had a deep walk with God.

I said to myself, “I just bet that girl is a Christian.” I even
thought about going up to ask her if she was, but I felt God stopping
me. I asked the three youngest Wood brothers, who were there with me,
“Who was that girl?” They said they couldn’t remember her name,
but that their family knew her. So I said to myself, “Well that’s
nice. I’m glad there are still girls like that in the world.” And I
just left it with the Lord. I didn’t think a whole lot of it, and
it’s not like I met her or anything. So no big deal.

Hands Off!

But then I went to that basketball game a few weeks later, and Micah
(maybe M’Kade also) came over and said “Hey, remember the girl from
Wal-Mart? That’s her right over there.” So I looked and saw again
that light in her eyes. I wanted to meet her, but I sensed God
telling me not to pursue that. I remember thinking that if God wanted
me to get to know this girl, he could cause us to meet each other. I
didn’t need to pursue, but instead I should wait on Him to make it
happen. Basically, hands off! That was God’s instruction to me.

And through out this story, that was my perspective and approach. Hands
off, and let God open the doors at the right time. I just sensed that
was the thing I should do. But I did meet Bruce, Anna’s brother, and
he invited me to come and play basketball with him. So I’d met the
brother. I was keeping my eyes open, and just watching for what
God might be doing.

Over a month passed. In the mean time God was doing a work in my heart and
was teaching me of obeying in faith, without necessarily knowing the
outcome. I will share more of that some other time.

The Ironic, Providential, Public Meeting

Elizabeth Daughtery’s wedding happened March 25th. I went and was a little
surprised to see Anna there. (I’m not sure why.) Again I thought
about going up to introduce myself, but again, felt that check. I
decided to just wait it out. Well, then she and Susan Daniel “just
happened” (and when I put “just happened” in quotes like that
it means I think it was not just a coincidence but God-guided) to get
in line behind me. Susan introduced us, and Leslie Jackson was also
near by. The four of us had a very nice time chatting together, and I
decided that since we were having a good time, and I didn’t have any
particular person to hang around with, I would just stick with those
three and we all sat together. (I wasn’t going to pass up an
opportunity like this to speak with “the girl from Wal-Mart.”) I
enjoyed the fellowship with the three of them, and I found Anna to be
very easy to talk with and an excellent communicator. As I went to do
other things and lost track of her, I was thinking I would liked to
have said “good-bye, it was nice to meet you,” etc. but I
couldn’t find her, so I just said “OK God, that’s fine. It’s all in
your court. My hands are off. I guess you didn’t want me to say ‘see
ya later.’” So I went on about my merry way, leaving it in the
Lord’s hands.

“You’ve got a comment”

Well, about this time I met a person whom I called “Hetti” when she
posted on my blog. She had made a comment, and I sent her a response
starting a correspondence. From my perspective at that time, she was
just an interesting person whom I enjoyed chatting with about C.S.
Lewis and eventually other things also. It was also interesting and
fun trying to gather clues as to who she was and what our connection
was. (She was uncomfortable revealing her identity over the Internet
to someone her father had never met.) As the friendship with Hetti
grew, I remember thinking how much I enjoyed her fellowship, even
over e-mail. I appreciated and agreed with her perspective (most of
the time, as I recall). I didn’t know how old she was really, or
where she was from. It did become apparent that she wasn’t a child or
a young teenager because there was a lot of wisdom and maturity
evident in her e-mails.

But then fast forward to April sometime I think. Jordan Wood invited me
to meet him at Chik-fil-a for lunch. Anna and Lynn “just happened”
to be there that day, and so I got a chance to meet her sister. So
now I’d met both of her siblings, and been very impressed by each
one. How could so many nice people be in one family? I found out
that day that Lynn cuts hair, so I got her card. I planned to get my
hair cut from her next time I needed one.

And I was keeping my eyes open also, and paying attention to the way the
Lord might be leading and opening doors in this thing. I was trying
not to force anything, just going with the Spirit. But at this point
I was very interested in this hair cut, because it would give me a chance to get to know Anna’s
family better. Her sister at least. But the hair cut was still
several weeks away. So I waited some more. So far I’d met her
brother, then her, then her sister. Things were progressing. ;o)

What are the odds?

In the mean time, Hetti’s e-mails were getting longer as were mine to
her, and we were actually becoming friends instead of distant
acquaintances. I was sharing more of my heart, etc. etc., and I was
finding that I really liked her. I can remember thinking that I was
liking this girl Anna more as I knew her more, and also the same for
Hetti. I remember saying to myself, “Wouldn’t it be cool if Anna
and Hetti were the same girl?……..Nah!” I thought that was
an extremely far fetched idea, and that if that were the case, it
would be pretty miraculous. I remember thinking that it would be
almost a sign from God that this was serious if those two girls ended
up being the same. Because I was liking the spiritual maturity and
insight of Hetti, and the physical beauty and personality, and Spirit
of God, in Anna. Man, put those two together and you have a girl that
would be very special. (Well, you might be guessing the rest of
this, but hang on.)

During this time I was so content about being single. I mean, it was such a
back burner issue, I didn’t think about marriage as often as I used
to, and I was so content and peaceful just to leave it in the Lord’s
hands. I told some friends I could never remember being so at peace
about that whole area of my life. It was great! (They said “Better
watch out. She’s probably coming soon!”)

Back to Square One…..or was I?

So then dear Lynn comes into the story. (Actually, this is where it
starts getting interesting, and kind of “Wow, God!”) She started
chatting with me on AIM a little, and it wasn’t long before she
revealed that she was Lynn Clayton, the girl I met at Chik-fil-a
recently. When I was guessing who she was, I threw in a guess about
her sister Anna being Hetti. I’m not sure why I threw that in, but I
was just in a mood I guess and I thought I’d try out that half-baked,
far-fetched idea just to see what happened. Lynn did a good job of
leading me to believe I was wrong about that without actually telling
me a false hood. So I felt like I was back to square one with
figuring out who Hetti was. I arranged with Lynn to get my hair cut
that following Monday. I was still interested in getting to know
Anna’s family a little better, just to see where God might lead. But
it really wasn’t all that serious yet, because I didn’t know them
very well. (And, as I said, I was at perfect peace with singleness at
that point in my life.) I knew a lot would have to happen before it
got serious. Little did I know how soon those things would happen.

The next day I got an e-mail from “Hetti” explaining that she had been Anna the whole time, and I was correct!

Wow!!! She was interested in what I was preaching and so that motivated her to check out my blog. She never expected to receive any correspondence from me. (For more on that, ask her.) I was very
surprised, not only that I guessed right on such little evidence, but
also that the very thing I had sort of hoped would happen, did
happen! So that really got my attention, and suddenly that hair
cut became a much bigger deal. But also that same day, or maybe
the next day, a mutual friend sent me an e-mail saying “We’d like
to have you and [Anna’s family] over some evening for dinner, maybe
this Sunday night.”

What?!

Now I “just happened” to have an opportunity to meet the whole
family, the very same week that I found out Anna and Hetti were the
same girl! I told this friend “yes,” making sure it wasn’t a
matchmaking attempt. I have always wanted to marry into a family
where I could get along well with my in-laws. I wanted to be able to
have a nice time with them, and they not be strange, or personalities
conflict or something like that. So finding their family to be so
agreeable, and fun, and easy to talk with, and sharing many of the
same likes and dislikes, made my interest in these events grow. But I
was still just watching to see how – and if – God would open
things.

Before I go further I want to make something very clear. My friendship with
her family was not in any way faked so that I could get to know
Anna better. I had been as genuine and real with them as I could.
Nothing was put on. And my friendship with the entire family was
something I think went beyond any special interest in Anna. That is
to say, I would have been friends with them even if Anna wasn’t part
of the equation. I say that because I am concerned that some of you
might think I was being deceptive somehow by not revealing my true
feelings; that I was only friendly with them because of her, or that
I was giving the impression that “Oh it’s just friends” when
actually I was hoping that some day it would be more. My goal – one
encouraged by my parents – has always been to never intentionally
attempt to capture the heart of a woman until all the lights were
“green,” particularly regarding her father. I have purposed
that if my interest in someone ever moved beyond friendship that the
young lady would not really know of any such interest until she
learned of it from her father, or I had received permission from him
to tell her.

So the next day I went to get my hair cut from Lynn. Of course, Anna
“just happened” to have piano students who canceled their lessons
at the exact time I was going to be at their house. This gave her
about two hours to fellowship and chat with Lynn and I in the salon.
Anna and Lynn both relieved any concerns I may have had that they were
perhaps “husband hunting”. I realized that they were just
friendly people. I was confident that they did not have ulterior
motives. That made our friendship free and comfortable.

And truly the friendship that has developed since then with her family
has been a very great blessing to me in it’s honesty and freedom, as
well as other things. Indeed, the extreme honesty that we enjoy
together made it, at times, difficult to keep myself from revealing
my true feelings (as they became more evident to me).

Waiting for a Shoe that Never Dropped

Normally when I have been attracted to young women in the past, all I have to
do is get to know her just a little bit better and God reveals pretty
quickly that she’s not the right girl for me. So in trying to get to
know Anna a little better, I was waiting for the same thing to
happen. But it didn’t. The more I talked with her the more I liked
her. And I began to realize that this really was a serious thing in
my life that I needed to spend some time praying about.

You see, I did not want to simply go with what my desire was, I wanted to
go with God’s desires only. So while my own heart might be pulled in
Anna’s direction, that does not mean it was God’s will that I pursue
a serious relationship with her. So I prayed. I prayed through out
this story.

And God answered. Perhaps I will spare you the details, but God gave me
two different Rhemas (specific verses from Scripture that apply to my
situation) concerning her. (Song of Solomon 2:1-2, and Psalm 37:4) He
also had given me a peace in my heart about this direction, and a
confidence that this was the right step. I had received “green
lights” at every possible turn…so far. I shared some of Anna’s
e-mails and our IM conversations with my father and mother, and
though they had many questions along the way, they assured me of
their complete support for me taking this next step. So the authority
“light” was also green. But God still told me to wait until my
parents had met her. Anna has told me since then that it was very
important to her to meet the family of any possible suitors.
Basically, she would not have been as open to receiving my proposal
of courtship if she had not yet met my family. Again, more direction
from God on timing, even though I didn’t realize it at that time.

Time to Take the Jump

Well, eventually I sensed God telling me that I should talk to her father.
I can’t remember the last time I was so nervous. I arranged to meet
with him on a Wednesday morning to discuss “some issues I’m dealing
with” and that “I’d like to have his perspective.” So we
met that Wednesday, September 6^th, and I revealed my heart
to Mr. Philip. After the initial butterflies, our conversation just
flowed easily. He responded very favorably. He said that he was very
glad and he gave me reason to hope that she would respond with a
“yes.” That was the first time I had reason to hope.

He gave me a list of things called “Anna’s Absolutes”, which was a
list of issues she believed strongly. I was to write what I thought
about those different issues for him to evaluate. She felt that if
any interested young man was not on the same page on most of those
issues, she didn’t even want to know about the interest. So I took
the rest of the week to complete my beliefs on those things while
they were on vacation. I also found time to write Anna a letter
expressing my heart and desire for courtship, and asking her if she
would be open to that.

Sunday afternoon Mr. Philip came by the church and he looked over my
responses and also the letter to Anna. He liked them and gave his
full and complete blessing to things moving forward. He said he would
give Anna the letter that night and that I should expect a call that
evening. (Because he expected she will want to call me right away.) I
had much reason to hope now, and Mr. Philip believed she would
respond with a big “yes!”

Oh how I love green lights!

Anna called that night and we talked for 36 minutes. (She reminded me of
that detail.) In the letter to her I asked what color her light was.
(Red, Green, or maybe.) She said the light was very
Green! God had been preparing
her heart for this all along. In fact, all summer, just like me. But
that is her side of the story…..

So we started courting September 10^th, officially. After that phone call I danced a little jig and praised the Lord! And the engagement story is…..for another time…..