What makes a child upset?

So after seven children and 12+ years of parenting I have made some observations. (My wife has made more, and perhaps she should get credit for this one, but I agree with her so I’m calling it mine.) :o)

What makes a child upset is often traced back to either a problem with food or sleep. “Let me ‘splain. No….it is too much…let me sum up.” #quoteablemovies

When a child is unreasonable or inexplicably angry (if you are the parent of toddlers then you know EXACTLY what I mean) it is often related to either something they have eaten, something they need to eat, or sleep deprivation. Sometimes these outbursts are clearly the result of being hungry or tired, but often they are not.

As a parent, if I can be certain those two areas of life are handled well then a large portion of the chaos and stress of the home is resolved.

Food:

This impacts us more than we think. A lot of parents give their children treats all day long. Sugar-filled, preservative-infused, artificial, nutrition-deprived, chemically-constructed treats to appease or even delight them, and then wonder in amazement when they become uncontrollable, deranged, screaming banshees.

“Yes ma’am, this crazy maniac driving you crazy is your child, and it’s probably because of the chocolate covered twinkie lolly pop you gave him for breakfast. No ma’am there is no coverage for broken furniture in our company insurance. I’m sorry. Maybe if you untied it from the door handle? Yes…ok….yes…….ok, have a good day. Thank you for calling Krazy Kid Krunchies.”

But if we will recognize that the food we give our children, or the food we don’t give them, affects their mood and behavior we would be a lot better off. Even in our family, where we try hard to give them healthy nutritious food and not-that-bad-for-you treats, we can still miss a specific need in a specific child and end up causing a problem.

Sometimes they just need to eat. That whole “Hangry” thing is real. At least in our house.

Sleep:

This one affects all of us, even Mom and Dad, more than we realize. A child that doesn’t get enough rest is alarmingly difficult to parent. Often the tantrum throwing, screaming fit, disobedient, stubborn, unhelpful child is really just tired and doesn’t notice it. Her parent doesn’t notice that either. She doesn’t seem otherwise sleepy or tired. But there is a good chance she isn’t resting well.

When we are tired our brains don’t work at the same speed. We miss things we normally catch. Our words and sentences don’t….um…..what’s the…… come out right. We don’t handle stress as well and are more likely to react and lash out at small irritations.

As adults we often can recognize these signs but children can’t verbalize or recognize these symptoms of exhaustion. They are coping any way they can, and actually child exhaustion comes out in unexpected ways. Children respond to stress in ways that are usually a little different than the way adults have learned to cope. Learn to recognize these signs in your child.

And we don’t generally let children cover their exhaustion with coffee or energy drinks, which is what adults do. (You don’t have to tell me I’m right, cause I already know.) ;o)

Pay Attention:

So be attentive parent. Look for cause and effect in your home. Don’t jump to conclusions, but watch for patterns of behavior and try to deduce the possible cause of that effect. If your 6 year old has a fit after breakfast on Thursdays, maybe it’s because you decided Thursday would be “Dessert Left-overs-for-breakfast” day. Just saying, you might want to re-think that strategy.

These are just some observations we have made over the years. Two major causes are often related to food or sleep. Do y’all have supporting observations, or additional regular causes? Let’s help each other folks!